Raptors Media Day/Christmas Party!

[Soundwave]

WELCOME TO THE TORONTO RAPTORS's CHRISTMAS PARTY.

I'm you host Rob Ford. And as you know it would not be a Raptors Christmas without everyone's favorite mayor.




Allow me to take you around our facility and show you some of the new things we got going on around here.  But first let me get some of this eggnog.





Alright, lets get moving now down the hall.  Here we come to the front office area where all the big wigs are mingling with their goldigging plastic hookers, I mean wives, my bad.  Oh Look, there's the man, the myth, the legend himself, Raptors GM Soun Dwave.  Mr. Dwave, is there anything you would like to say to our visitors today?


Soun Dwave:  Hey guys, and lady, thanks for joining us for this very festive occasion.  Today I feel like a kid on Christmas day.  I really do.  It's like I woke up this morning and ran to the facility to open up all my new gifts that Training Claus brought us.  Look there's one now.  Let's open it together and see what it is!





LOL, this just keeps getting better.  The Spurs sent us their assistant coach.  Do I really have to write a thank you card to Bowser now?


I'm so excited right now I almost forgot to tell you about the other gifts we got last night.  Our star player Michael Finley went full on beast mode.  In the last 2 training camps he has gone up 20 points in inside scoring.  Without paid training in that area.  Our floor general Chauncey Billups has progressed very very well.  He is still young and has a bit to go, but we are thrilled with his progress so far and how can you not love that 88 in three point shooting?  


Now I would like to introduce our newest team members

Come draft time it was painfully apparent that our biggest need was a big man.  Well the lottery didn't exactly go the way we had wanted but we were truly blessed with being able to pick up a big guy that may be one of the most unique players in the league.  We actually feel he may have been a steal in that spot.  Let me introduce you to our new Center of the future Brad Miller.





Ugh, Brad.  Those damn Cornrows have to go.


Miller: Yo! Why?


Dwave: Cause you are a white boy from Purdue.  What would Drew Brees think about that?

*Dwave shakes head


Next I would like to introduce our rock on the block Brian Grant.
Even after drafting Miller we needed more size and strength down low and here we have one of the strongest men in the entire league.  The price was high, but this player fit our needs perfectly.






Look at him playing the ukulele!  That cat can jam.


Grant:  Um, Soun, do I have to cut off my dreads now?


Soun Dwave: No Brian, why do you ask?


Grant:  Cause B Mill can't keep his rows


Dwave:  Yeah, but you make it look sexy.  Keep doing what you doing big guy.


Ok guys, and mam, that does it for our tour.  Any questions?

[JNR]

Generic Wolves Reporter: Your team had a great training camp and your young stars look great. The East looks like it may be weaker than usual. Do you think your team is ready to enter the fray of contention?

[Nick Malone 77]

Nick Melon; Charlotte Observer: Great food, great music. Great party. Everyone now kind'a looks at your squad as the possible upstarts of the Eastern Conference. What kind of impact do you think a guy like Tim Thomas will have playing on a squad with a greatly improved Chauncey and Finley?

[Soundwave]

Dec 18, 2014 13:10:00 GMT -6 JNR said:

Generic Wolves Reporter: Your team had a great training camp and your young stars look great. The East looks like it may be weaker than usual. Do you think your team is ready to enter the fray of contention?

The word contention to us means competing for a title.  We don't think so this year.  Playoffs?  Hopefully.

[Soundwave]

Dec 18, 2014 17:02:13 GMT -6 Nick Malone 77 said:

Nick Melon; Charlotte Observer: Great food, great music. Great party. Everyone now kind'a looks at your squad as the possible upstarts of the Eastern Conference. What kind of impact do you think a guy like Tim Thomas will have playing on a squad with a greatly improved Chauncey and Finley?

Tim Thomas is becoming a man.  But he is still projects to come off the bench for us.  Hopefully he can lead our second group and keep us in games.

[IamQuailman]

Will Maukie, bucksnation.tripod.com: Where do you see yourself landing within division and conference when all things are done?

[Soundwave]

Dec 20, 2014 10:17:30 GMT -6 IamQuailman said:

Will Maukie, bucksnation.tripod.com: Where do you see yourself landing within division and conference when all things are done?

Finally!  A question!  I just figured everyone was too hopped up on my special Eggnog blend.

For this season we just hope to be in the top half of the division and a 6-8th playoff seed.  Anything above that will make this year special.

[Conroy]

Sports Guy Bill Simmons here, how difficult do you think it will be to come up with a gameplan that fits this team? Will there be a lot of experimenting or as soon as you win a few games will you try to stick with that plan?

[Soundwave]

Dec 22, 2014 7:43:06 GMT -6 Conroy said:

Sports Guy Bill Simmons here, how difficult do you think it will be to come up with a gameplan that fits this team? Will there be a lot of experimenting or as soon as you win a few games will you try to stick with that plan?

There is always general tinkering in Toronto.  We have only gone "same" maybe twice in our team's existence.  But we do have a general outline of what we want to do that was gained from our experimenting last season.

[IamQuailman]

AWARDED 5 POINTS!