Post by DarthVegito on May 15, 2014 11:04:14 GMT -6
Rumblings around the conference room can be heard, profanities and sheer anger. The reporters have been waiting on the Mavericks presser for two days now. Most have left but a good handful have stayed and waited. There was word that this thing was going to happen pretty soon. All the sudden the double does burst open and out comes the GM, Darth Vegito. He stumbles out and seems to be in shock that there are people in this room. Appears that he hasn't shaved in weeks, his shirt is untucked, and his flask is showing in his shirt pocket.
Darth Vegito: What the fuck are you people doing in here!? Do you think this is a fucking shelter?
One reporter speaks up: But sir, we're here waiting on your press conference that you promised us two days ago.
Darth Vegito: Your joking right... You people have been here for 2 fucking days? *DV bursts into uncontrollable laughter* Man you guys are fuckin dedicated ayy. *says "morons" under his breath* well I sure hope you ain't expecting one right now, I don't think I should be answering questions in this frame of mind, but fuck it lets do this.
Pulls out his flask, takes a swig and sits down.
DV: Well where do we fucking start...well the first time I got an erection I think I was 9 yrs old, I took the clothes off of my cousins Barbie, memories...after that I.....
Is interrupted by one of the reporters...
"Sir, sir...can we start with the offseason?"
DV: Oh ok I guess, your missing a good story though. Your fucking loss you little dickweed.
I'll make this short and sweet, I got shit to do. We had a great season last year. We over achieved greatly and this team was able to build some great confidence. But we did fall short. I wanted to make some changes, so I did. We made some risky decisions in the off season. But the goal is winning a ring, always our goal. Umm...Penny is awesome and great. And well our whole team is boss. What else is there to say.
We went out and capitalized on a few teams who were either strapped on cap room or simply not wanting to pay their aging star. We brought in Patrick Ewing and Scottie Pippen. Two guys with tons of experience. We have high expectations this season and expect to meet those.
Also I'd like to thank everyone who voted me for GMOY last season. But let's be honest, you'd have been lying to yourself had you voted for anyone else. I deserved it. I killed that shit. One year rebuild and almost made it to the finals. Takes notes bitches. I was too nice last season. We straight cutthroat in this bitch this year. Ok you people boring me now.
You silly looking twats got any questions?
Darth Vegito: What the fuck are you people doing in here!? Do you think this is a fucking shelter?
One reporter speaks up: But sir, we're here waiting on your press conference that you promised us two days ago.
Darth Vegito: Your joking right... You people have been here for 2 fucking days? *DV bursts into uncontrollable laughter* Man you guys are fuckin dedicated ayy. *says "morons" under his breath* well I sure hope you ain't expecting one right now, I don't think I should be answering questions in this frame of mind, but fuck it lets do this.
Pulls out his flask, takes a swig and sits down.
DV: Well where do we fucking start...well the first time I got an erection I think I was 9 yrs old, I took the clothes off of my cousins Barbie, memories...after that I.....
Is interrupted by one of the reporters...
"Sir, sir...can we start with the offseason?"
DV: Oh ok I guess, your missing a good story though. Your fucking loss you little dickweed.
I'll make this short and sweet, I got shit to do. We had a great season last year. We over achieved greatly and this team was able to build some great confidence. But we did fall short. I wanted to make some changes, so I did. We made some risky decisions in the off season. But the goal is winning a ring, always our goal. Umm...Penny is awesome and great. And well our whole team is boss. What else is there to say.
We went out and capitalized on a few teams who were either strapped on cap room or simply not wanting to pay their aging star. We brought in Patrick Ewing and Scottie Pippen. Two guys with tons of experience. We have high expectations this season and expect to meet those.
Also I'd like to thank everyone who voted me for GMOY last season. But let's be honest, you'd have been lying to yourself had you voted for anyone else. I deserved it. I killed that shit. One year rebuild and almost made it to the finals. Takes notes bitches. I was too nice last season. We straight cutthroat in this bitch this year. Ok you people boring me now.
You silly looking twats got any questions?
