Toronto Media Massacre

[Soundwave]

They've been lying to you, man. There ain’t no such thing as a hero, not anymore. But you … have become addicted to the illusion of what a hero is. … You think you need someone to pat you on the back.
What if I was to tell you that the man who made you is a liar?
What if I was to tell you that your own flesh and blood turned his back on you?
I will never turn my back on you, and maybe, maybe the answers you seek have been slapping you right in the face. Maybe, just maybe, I — Soundwave, the eater of worlds — have been the answer all along.
I have no followers, I only have brothers and sisters all in the name of cause.
People are sheep, understand me? They can't lead themselves, they have to be led.
People buy and sell fear, they worship war, they crave war & I'm not afraid of their wars. I created war! And I think it's time for the masses to wake up, wake up, WAKE UP WAKE UP and look at this lie they been livin' in, man.
The world is deteriorating betweent their toes and they do nothing about it, they just stand there, they whisper and wonder but never do anything about it. But I've seen it all in my dreams and in my thoughts and above anything else I understand... this is not the beginning <laugh> it's the end <laugh>
We're Coming.

To wage a war, one must first have soldiers.
My offseason has been a quest through Hades to obtain the type of soldiers I need.
Eight is not enough to satisfy my appetite. One is what I seek.
The first shot had been fired.  You all felt the wind howl as the magic left the sun and returned to the dark, cold snow.
The diseased shall rule the Earth.
From his throne, he will lead an army of starving youth.
They will ravage anything in their wake and rape what is left.
Before the judgement, a deal had to be struck. Souls were sold to the devil who in turn sent his horseman.
And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.
The rider led the army to train in the wastelands beyond the wall. 
When the army comes forth it will wield the power of 5 mystical beings.
Magic
The Beast
The Fox
The Undead
The Son of El

Winter is coming.




Now I would like to show you a little video package that our production team put together:




Any Questions?

[coltsguy510]

What does the fox say?

[Soundwave]

Mar 14, 2014 12:22:17 GMT -6 coltsguy510 said:

What does the fox say?

Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow!
Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow!
Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow!

Kill-Kill-Kill-Kill
Rape and Pillage
Kill-Kill-Kill-Kill
Rape and Pillage

[Nick Malone 77]

Nick Melon; Charlotte Observer: Hello bearded head of Toronto Extinct Dinosaurs. Thank you for taking the time to answer my questions. You had a very busy offseason bringing in Magic from Orlando and signing Pervis Ellison to stabilize your front court next to Stanley Roberts and the "rise" of Derrick Coleman. Do you think that because of the contract you gave to Pervis that this signals the end of Coleman in Canada or do you think they can coexist?

Also, with the addition of Magic, do you think this will once again stunt the growth of promising young point guard Greg Anthony or valuable to him sitting at the learning tree of Magic?

[WigNosy]

Stanley Roberts is listed on your roster page at 294 pounds but rumors are he entered training camp pushing 335. Care to comment on this?

Did you let a drunken Bo write the copy for your opening statement?

Also, how did you feel about the league's Official Hairless Cat of Record assigning the Raptors an A grade in the offseason?

[bowtothebill23]

Jack Markson, Golden Take, how will you fare vs your rival the Pistons this year?

[Conroy]

Sports Guy Bill Simmons here, were you always planning on trying to accelerate the rebuild this season or did the opportunity present itself after Magic became available and you just really liked some of the FAs you were able to sign? Did it play a part in signing some guys this year instead of waiting until the big FA class next year?

[Soundwave]

Mar 14, 2014 15:14:19 GMT -6 Nick Malone 77 said:

Nick Melon; Charlotte Observer: Hello bearded head of Toronto Extinct Dinosaurs. Thank you for taking the time to answer my questions. You had a very busy offseason bringing in Magic from Orlando and signing Pervis Ellison to stabilize your front court next to Stanley Roberts and the "rise" of Derrick Coleman. Do you think that because of the contract you gave to Pervis that this signals the end of Coleman in Canada or do you think they can coexist?

Also, with the addition of Magic, do you think this will once again stunt the growth of promising young point guard Greg Anthony or valuable to him sitting at the learning tree of Magic?

Good question Nick, we signed Pervis with the intention to play him next to Coleman.  We wanted a rim protector and he is one of the best in the league.  His high offensive rebounding rate will be a great asset because he won't have to be a key player, just clean up everyone else's shots.  This signing was not a knock to Coleman at all.

As far as Greg goes, we realized last season that he has a little bit more growing to do as a player if we are to succeed.  His shooting (and free throws) were a detriment at times.  If he can't learn from Magic, then he can't learn.

[NOLa.]

I really like the before-and-after picture of your team now that the offseason is over. You've made moves to acquire talented players in trades and free agency and were big winners of the East as far as the offseason goes without selling out your youth and future. Is this the season Toronto contends for a division title and a top seed? You have Magic Johnson to help lead you there.

[logpmess]

You are in a tough division this year. What ways do you see your team taking advantage of some of the other teams in your division, and what pieces, if any, do you need to make a real run at the title?

[Soundwave]

Mar 14, 2014 19:19:06 GMT -6 WigNosy said:

Stanley Roberts is listed on your roster page at 294 pounds but rumors are he entered training camp pushing 335. Care to comment on this?

Did you let a drunken Bo write the copy for your opening statement?

Also, how did you feel about the league's Official Hairless Cat of Record assigning the Raptors an A grade in the offseason?

Is that a cat?

Who in the hell let the stray in?


And it talks!!!?!!?!! WTH?

It must be the apocalypse cause now I'm answering shitty questions from cats.

Roberts is a fat lazy POS. That's all I've got to say about him.

The opening statement was taken from a speech given by the great Mr. Wyatt. We LaBeouf'd that shit.

I love getting A grades. I'm not here to fail.  I deserved an A OFFSEASON GRADE, maybe even an A+ (especially considering all the moves I didn't make, nothing reactionary or desperate here).  The only thing I had any issue with was the original A grade which was based on Free Agency.  I really only made 2 moves there, re-signing Oakley and of course Pervis.  I think an A is about right for signing 2 of the top 3 OREB in FA.  But the write up mentioned a lot about Magic which was not a FA signing of course.  I've been curious how much the Magic trade weighed the review for the Hairless Cat?  Or was it still just based on the FA signings.

[Soundwave]

Mar 15, 2014 7:35:43 GMT -6 bowtothebill23 said:

Jack Markson, Golden Take, how will you fare vs your rival the Pistons this year?

Pretty much this:



But also this:

[Soundwave]

Mar 15, 2014 10:53:32 GMT -6 Conroy said:

Sports Guy Bill Simmons here, were you always planning on trying to accelerate the rebuild this season or did the opportunity present itself after Magic became available and you just really liked some of the FAs you were able to sign? Did it play a part in signing some guys this year instead of waiting until the big FA class next year?

Going into the offseason I targeted C and PG as 2 areas I needed to upgrade.  Honestly, Magic was not a target.  If anything, I tried to somewhat avoid him knowing that the build would accelerate.  A deal got worked out that I could not refuse.  

FA played a huge part in getting Magic, not the other way around.  I would have been forced to try to sign a couple of guys to max deals that I didn't really think were true full max players.  So I decided to go the better cheaper route with Magic.  Of course getting him accelerated my whole building plan after that.
I thought if the right moves presented themselves then this would be the year to strike, not next.

[Soundwave]

Mar 15, 2014 11:59:57 GMT -6 NOLa. said:

I really like the before-and-after picture of your team now that the offseason is over. You've made moves to acquire talented players in trades and free agency and were big winners of the East as far as the offseason goes without selling out your youth and future. Is this the season Toronto contends for a division title and a top seed? You have Magic Johnson to help lead you there.

That is the plan.  Trying to avoid selling off the complete future to make it happen.  We are very happy with this core and would like to try and win with it, But there may still be moves to make and are a couple of players out there now that I think could elevate us from very good to scary.

[Soundwave]

Mar 15, 2014 13:53:30 GMT -6 logpmess said:

You are in a tough division this year. What ways do you see your team taking advantage of some of the other teams in your division, and what pieces, if any, do you need to make a real run at the title?

Defense.  We plan to bring hard nosed, tough D to this division.  someone asked earlier about FA, basically we targeted anyone who had ever made an all-defense team.  Our starting line-up now consists of 3 such players.  And that doesn't include Fox who was our best defender last season in terms of defensive efficiency.  There is no doubt this division can score, you have to be able to slow that down to win this division.

6th man is our biggest concern at the moment.  We loved Hubert Davis in that he was not afraid to shoot off the bench and was good at it. We drafted someone in Chris Mills we believe can fill that role maybe even better if he has confidence in himself.  We also signed a couple of guys in FA just in case.

[TrayWithAnA]

Mar 15, 2014 18:32:56 GMT -6 Soundwave said:

Mar 15, 2014 7:35:43 GMT -6 bowtothebill23 said:

Jack Markson, Golden Take, how will you fare vs your rival the Pistons this year?

Pretty much this:



But also this:

I hurt one of my rivals so bad he rebuilt. I guess I have to focus primarily on you now.

[Soundwave]

Mar 15, 2014 19:45:20 GMT -6 TrayWithAnA said:

Mar 15, 2014 18:32:56 GMT -6 Soundwave said:

Pretty much this:



But also this:

I hurt one of my rivals so bad he rebuilt. I guess I have to focus primarily on you now.

I'm your Huckleberry.

[Deleted]

What's a realistic window in terms of for this team to be in the championship picture?

[Soundwave]

Mar 16, 2014 9:33:32 GMT -6 ballsohard said:

What's a realistic window in terms of for this team to be in the championship picture?

We hope it begins now.  But injuries are always something to be fearful of.

In terms of length, we feel we haven't sold the future for the present.  We believe we could still get even better in the coming years.  Keep in mind, most of our core is still young and that youth had been the biggest problem.

[IamQuailman]

Will Maukie, Milwaukee Tribune.

If you could look at your team and point out your biggest weakness, what would it be? Now take that weakness, turn it side ways, and shove it up your candy ass!




Just Kidding. Take that weakness and can you tell me that how you look to improve upon it?

[TrayWithAnA]

When can we expect your annual art-of-winning article?

[Soundwave]

Mar 17, 2014 12:38:57 GMT -6 IamQuailman said:

Will Maukie, Milwaukee Tribune.

If you could look at your team and point out your biggest weakness, what would it be? Now take that weakness, turn it side ways, and shove it up your candy ass!




Just Kidding. Take that weakness and can you tell me that how you look to improve upon it?

Last season it was FG%.  Since the league began we have been in the bottom half in offensive eff.  We are hoping adding Magic, along with Pervis and an offensively improved Barry and Fox can help that.  Rebounding is another concern which is why we signed 2 of the best Oreb in FA.  Historically we miss shots, now we should be able to make more shots and if not have a better chance at a put back.

We know another Central GM questioned our wing D, but we are not concerned at all.  Barry was 2nd team all-D and Fox was better statistically.  Magic could be a concern, but we think we have the rim defender and inside D we were missing.

In summation, Rebounding and Oeff were our biggest concerns, but we believed we have improved (if not fixed) those problems.

[Soundwave]

Mar 17, 2014 14:35:53 GMT -6 TrayWithAnA said:

When can we expect your annual art-of-winning article?

Just finished the research, just gotta put pen to paper now.  Interesting findings.

[IamQuailman]

AWARDED 5 POINTS (Count towards your 93-94 media day press release 5-pt accrual)! THANKS FOR YOUR CONTRIBUTION!