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Post by JNR on Jul 3, 2014 13:13:10 GMT -6
Wilbon: Pardon the Interruption, but I’m Mike Wilbon. NBA Season is kicking off, Tony, and we get to see some of these rookies for the first time. Tony, you ready for KG? Kornheiser: I’m Tony Kornheiser. No thanks, I had KFC this afternoon and I’m stuffed. In today’s episode we’re going to talk about training camp, make some award predictions, and pretend to be people much more athletic and successful than we are. Wilbon: Speak for yourself, Tone, I’m deceptively quick. Kornheiser: Let’s get to our headlines. TRAINING CAMP
Wilbon: Training camp just finished, which means the season is almost upon us. A lot of expected improvements and downgrades across the league. Sam Cassell is probably the biggest case, losing most his skills and athleticism. It seems like he’s still feeling the effects on the broken leg that sidelined him towards the end of last season. Tony, if you’re Golden State, do you panic? Kornheiser: You panic. Of course you panic. You had a guy who looked like he was the franchise point guard, so much so that you felt comfortable swapping Dennis Scott for Cedric Ceballos. But Cassell regresses, Dennis Scott drinks Michael’s secret stuff in LA, and now you’re exactly where you were last year, with three good players and a bunch of nothin’. I panic. Wilbon: Those three good players and a bunch of nothin’ got them to the Western Conference Finals, Tony. Keep in mind they still have Shawn Kemp, who’s got to be the best player in the world right now. I think they can get by with Cassell, even this regressed form of him. They can try to trade for another point guard, but the rest of the team doesn’t have a ton of value outside of the immovable pieces. Kornheiser: Maybe Damon Stoudamire is available. Talk about a guy with a bad training camp. Wilbon: He looked like one of the brightest stars of the draft, Tony. Now what is he? Kornheiser: He’s still a good point guard, just not as good as advertised. Sometimes that’s okay, though. My picture on my online dating profile is me with hair. It wasn’t all bad though, Wilbon. Some guys look pretty good going into the year. Wilbon: My eye is on Jason Kidd. Rookie of the year last year, got even better, and now he has Reggie Miller to pass to. Expect more than a few triple doubles from him. Kornheiser: There are a lot more to get to, but my Thoroughness rating declined in Training Camp. Next topic, Wilbon! OFFSEASON TRANSACTIONS
Wilbon: A few guys are wearing some new jerseys, Tony. Greg Anthony is a Grizzly, Magic Johnson and Charles Barkley are Mavericks, and some guy named Mike Iuzzolino is playing for the Sonics. You ever heard of Iuzzolino, Tony? Kornheiser: Never heard of him. Biggest offseason transaction isn’t a move though. It’s a re-signing. Gatling stayed in VanMemphis – wherever the hell that is – and that’s a great move by the Grizzlies. They keep Gatling, get Anthony, and reload to challenge for the division. Wilbon: It was a good move, a sensible move. The only logical move. They couldn’t afford to lose him. I like a few trades this offseason. I thought the Wolves/Wizards trade was good for depth, I think the Mavs stayed dominant if not older than dirt. But my favorite move this offseason was between the Hawks and the Jazz. Karl Malone and Rik Smits to the Jazz for Rodney Rogers and the #3 draft pick, which turned out to be Antonio McDyess. What a blockbuster. Kornheiser: What a trape! Wilbon: Trape? Is that a word? Kornheiser: I’m making it one. Wilbon: It’s a huge trade. Huge trade. The Midwest gets harder, the Hawks get younger, and we get to see if the Jazz can finally give Michael Jordan the ring he deserves. Kornheiser: It’s kind of sad, the Jordan situation. One of the best players this game has ever seen. He’ll have to go down in history as the best player to never win a ring. Wilbon: Jazz might win one! Kornheiser: They won’t. When we come back, we’re going to predict the season, and then we have some Role Play. Settle down, Wilbon, it’s not what you think. |
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Post by JNR on Jul 3, 2014 13:14:40 GMT -6
Kornheiser: Welcome back to PTI. It’s time for… ODDSMAKERS!Kornheiser: Oddmakers, PBSL Season Predictions edition. We’re joined by Anthony Michael John Paul Jones “Uh Oh” Tony Reali! Reali: All right, odds that Kevin Garnett is Rookie of the Year. You first, Wilbon. Wilbon: 40%. Kornheiser: That’s low. Wilbon: It is low. Kevin Garnett had a great training camp, but he isn’t ready yet. He has a lot of room to grow. And that Cavs team is going to STINK. Kornheiser: Yeah, they’re going to be terrible, and that’s why I’m putting the odds at EIGHTY PERCENT, MICHAEL. Wilbon: Eighty! Kornheiser: Eighty. Kevin Garnett is going to get a lot of touches. Muggsy can get him the ball. There’s no one else to score. Wilkins can barely walk at this point. I think he’s gonna average 17 points and 9 rebounds, and he’s going to be rookie of the year. Wilbon: No way. Rasheed will win in a landslide. A landslide! Reali: Okay, next prediction. Odds that Shawn Kemp wins his 4th MVP in a row. Tony. Kornheiser: You’re gonna like this number. ONE HUNDRED PERCENT. Wilbon: Wow. Kornheiser: HUNDRED. NO CHANCE IT DOESN’T HAPPEN. Kemp is a beast. He was forged in a government lab. He’s not even human. No one will even come close to his numbers. Wilbon: That’s high, but not too high. I’m going to say 90%. David Robinson and Alonzo Mourning have chances, but Kemp is just too good. Reali: Okay, Wilbon. Odds that the Celtics three-peat. Wilbon: This is going to be another low one. I’m going to say 30%. Thirty for Mitch Richmond’s age. He’s the guy who makes that team go, and he’s getting older. There are other great teams out there: the Warriors, the Mavs, the Rockets. The Celtics might march out of the East, but the West will be ready this time. Kornheiser: I’m going to go out on a limb and say 84%. If you’re paying attention, that’s the combined age of Richmond, Zo, and Hardaway. I mean, come on. Those guys are impossible to beat. I think my rec league team just got the 7th seed in the East. The Celtics are going to raise another banner, and everyone in PBSL is going to vomit. Reali: All right, last one. Odds that The JNR wins GM of the Year. Tony. Kornheiser: This can’t be a real question. 0%. NONE. Wilbon: -60%. -60. Less than a chance of happening. Reali: You can’t go below zero, Wilbon. Do you even Math? Tony wins. Kornheiser: Never in doubt. All right, one more break, then we’ll be back with Role Play to finish us off. Wilbon: Sounds dirtier every time you say it. |
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Post by JNR on Jul 3, 2014 13:23:52 GMT -6
Wilbon: All right, we’re almost done here, but we wanted to end with Role Play. Tony, who am I? Kornheiser: You’re all star guard Kevin Johnson. Your Lakers keep retooling. You’re the only player still on the original PBSL roster, and you’ve still got 4 years to go on your lengthy and expensive contract. Do you fear that you’ll be traded, and if you’re not, do you expect a title during your contract? Wilbon: Of course they won’t trade me. I’m KJ. Assists leader in 93, three time all star. I make this team run. Every time my GM trades a player out, I bring us to the playoffs and we overachieve. Doesn’t matter who’s at center or power forward. We’re going to win a title, this year or the next. I don’t ever want to leave this situation. Kornheiser: Okay, good answer. Who am I? Wilbon: You’re Bucks general manager Ian Quailmen. You’ve spent two years as one of the worst teams in the league. You’ve amassed young talent in a quickly fading Eastern Conference. What do you think your team is capable of? Kornheiser: Playoffs. Not much more than that. But if you spent the past two winters in Milwaukee like we have, anything is going to be better. Hell, my fans live in Milwaukee. They’ll like a 35 win season if we offer enough beer at the arena. We’ve got young players who will get better, and we can sneak into the playoffs as an 8th seed. I’m really happy about Jalen Rose and Rick Fox, and with Rony on my team, we’ll have a real starting lineup for the first time in years. It’s better than most winters in Milwaukee, that’s for sure. Wilbon: Milwaukee is a great town. A lovely town. Okay, Tony, last one: who am I? Kornheiser: You’re Steve Smith of the Detroit Pistons. You’re one of the best players in the league. Your team has been one of the best teams in the Eastern Conference. Your GM is famous for working hard to assemble a good team. But this year, after a stunning SWEEP to the Hornets in Round 1, your team gets rid of Benoit and Reggie Miller for a couple of high fives. Then you get a contract from another team only to have the Pistons match it, and you look around Detroit now, and you’re surrounded by Matt Geiger, Anthony Goldwire, and some guy named Cherokee. How are you feeling about your team, Stevie? Wilbon: I’m nervous. A little nervous. We lost to the Hornets, and it was bad, but I didn’t think it was this bad. I didn’t think a whole team retooling was necessary. And now it’s me, Mark Jackson, and some scrubs. And I hear rumors that Jackson is on the trade block too. It makes me think my team doesn’t care about winning anymore. And for a guy who is just hitting my prime, it’s hard for me to be optimistic. Maybe we’ll get a good pick in this draft, but I don’t care about that. I want to win, and I don’t think we can do that this year. Kornheiser: All right, we’re out of time. Try to do better next time. Wilbon: See you next time, knuckleheads. Don’t forget to subscribe to the PTI Podcast on iTunes. Kornheiser: Podcast? iTunes? What the hell are those things? Wilbon: I have no idea. |
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Post by TrayWithAnA on Jul 3, 2014 13:27:15 GMT -6
Great job, JNR
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Post by NOLa. on Jul 3, 2014 13:28:26 GMT -6
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J2
Junior Member
Washington Wizards
Posts: 955 
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Post by J2 on Jul 3, 2014 13:29:35 GMT -6
Excellent stuff!  |
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Post by Conroy on Jul 3, 2014 13:37:20 GMT -6
Awesome stuff, Rookie of the Year should be a good race could probably throw Stackhouse in there as well I see him being an offensive monster and offense drives awards.
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Post by IamQuailman on Jul 3, 2014 13:41:24 GMT -6
WORLD CUP CAMEO!
Great stuff as usual!
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Post by Inner_GI on Jul 3, 2014 14:14:06 GMT -6
Give the man 10 points for this.
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Post by TrayWithAnA on Jul 3, 2014 14:30:46 GMT -6
Give the man 10 points for this. Bullshit on 10 points. All he had to do was show his schizo for fifteen minutes. 10 point precedent needs to be set on TC Analysis or nothing. Haha |
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Post by NOLa. on Jul 3, 2014 14:31:51 GMT -6
Guess now's not the time to reveal the 5-point media cap change....
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Post by Inner_GI on Jul 3, 2014 14:33:02 GMT -6
Give the man 10 points for this. Bullshit on 10 points. All he had to do was show his schizo for fifteen minutes. 10 point precedent needs to be set on TC Analysis or nothing. Haha Pssh. Excel is easy  |
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Post by Inner_GI on Jul 3, 2014 14:33:47 GMT -6
Guess now's not the time to reveal the 5-point media cap change.... Say what? I thought we had a cap on this stuff for luxury tax reasons. |
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Post by NOLa. on Jul 3, 2014 14:34:20 GMT -6
Guess now's not the time to reveal the 5-point media cap change.... Say what? I thought we had a cap on this stuff for luxury tax reasons. Haha I joke I joke. Put the nooses away |
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Post by Inner_GI on Jul 3, 2014 14:37:37 GMT -6
Say what? I thought we had a cap on this stuff for luxury tax reasons. Haha I joke I joke. Put the nooses away Hahaha. Figured. |
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Post by Nick Malone 77 on Jul 3, 2014 15:09:52 GMT -6
A wonderful read.
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Post by IamQuailman on Jul 3, 2014 15:48:43 GMT -6
If people keep asking for more than max points, I might just forget they posted an article.... |
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Soundwave
Full Member
Toronto Raptors
Winter is coming
Posts: 2,465
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Post by Soundwave on Jul 3, 2014 15:50:29 GMT -6
Give the man 10 points for this. Bullshit on 10 points. All he had to do was show his schizo for fifteen minutes. 10 point precedent needs to be set on TC Analysis or nothing. Haha If that deserved 10 then so did the National Geographic article. They were not much different, just one had a lot more imagination and useful pictures. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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Soundwave
Full Member
Toronto Raptors
Winter is coming
Posts: 2,465
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Post by Soundwave on Jul 3, 2014 15:51:58 GMT -6
If people keep asking for more than max points, I might just forget they posted an article.... I'll remind you every 5 minutes just like you reminded me that I wanted to trade Rick Fox. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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rpf
Full Member
New Jersey Nets
IDGAF
Posts: 1,743
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Post by rpf on Jul 3, 2014 15:52:30 GMT -6
excellent post, i say give him 3.16 points
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jul 3, 2014 16:25:04 GMT -6
Glad this excellent article turned into this:  |
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Post by JNR on Jul 3, 2014 16:30:57 GMT -6
Thanks for the response guys!
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Post by IamQuailman on Jul 3, 2014 19:11:56 GMT -6
Thanks for the response guys! Is your dick raw cuz you got jerked so much? |
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Post by IamQuailman on Jul 5, 2014 16:55:22 GMT -6
AWARDED 5 PTS! THANKS FOR YOUR CONTRIBUTION!
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credit loco for photoshop
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