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Post by JNR on May 13, 2014 7:57:48 GMT -6
JNR: Welcome, friends, to our yearly press conference. Some Random Asshole in Attendance, Let’s Call Him Chad: You didn’t have a press conference last year. JNR: Actually I did, but it was a little late into the offseason, and no one attended because YOU’RE ALL JERKS! JNR clears his throat.
JNR: Anyway. I wanted to get off on the right foot this year, so I held this press conference early. I wanted everyone in the NBA to get a view of the new and VASTLY IMPROVED Timberwolves. I’m going to bring each of our starting lineup out, as well as our other first round draft pick and another returning player. The rest will stay backstage because nobody cares about them. YOU HEAR ME, DICKEY SIMPKINS? NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU! Now. Introducing this season’s starting lineup for the Minnesota Timberwolves… Our starting center, Ervin “Not Magic” Johnson! Johnson leans into the microphone.
Johnson: I’m green/green just like him though. JNR: Our starting small forward, and #1 draft choice from this year, please welcome from Duke University…Grant Hill! Grant Hill smiles and waves. He’s just happy to be here.
JNR: Our starting shooting guard, please welcome back to the team our initial first round draft pick in the inaugural draft…the incomparable Clyde “The Glyde” Drexler! JNR claps Drexler on the shoulder. One of Drexler’s ears falls off his body. No one notices.
JNR: Our starting point guard, Robert Pack! Pack stands up and waves. You can see his ENORMOUS DICK through his pants.
JNR: And our starting power forward, last year’s Rookie of the Year and Second Team All NBA…CHRIS WEBBER! Chris Webber smiles and nods. He’s wearing a shirt that says “Ask Me About the Nerfing Conspiracy.”
JNR: That will be our starting lineup, but I also wanted to bring out two valuable members of the bench. One is our second draft pick this year, from Temple…Aaron McKie! Some Random Asshole in Attendance, Let’s Call Him Chad: Why does his jersey not have a little C? JNR: Because our jersey makers suck. And finally, another player making his return to the Wolves...please welcome back Spud Webb! These seven men are determined to bring playoff basketball back to the state of Minnesota. The West is daunting, but if we play to our potential, and if our head coach isn’t dumb as shit like usual, we should have a fighting chance. Our goals this year are making the playoffs, continuing to develop our promising young stars, and giving Clyde Drexler a chance to bring his championship experience to this young core. We will now open up the floor for questions. Anyone? |
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Post by gmessi2 on May 13, 2014 8:23:21 GMT -6
How do feel about your chances of a championship this year? There are rumblings that you should be early favorites to win the Western Conference.
Follow up: With a core of young guys, do you feel like you are a championship contender for years to come?
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Post by JNR on May 13, 2014 8:57:04 GMT -6
JNR: Thanks for the question. I am confident that our team has all the resources necessary to hoist a championship trophy. However, I'm not delusional. I look at the West and it is just bursting with great teams. Even if we improve 15-20 games from last year, which is possible, we may not even make the playoffs. That's how strong the competition is.
However, with our core of Hill, Pack, and Webber going forward, I feel confident that we can build a contender.
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Post by WigNosy on May 13, 2014 11:26:35 GMT -6
The Rockets, Grizzlies, and Mavericks all have established veterans that provide excellent one-two punches at Power Forward and Center. Do you think it's fair to expect your much younger bigs to match up with them defensively, and with NotMagic still raw on the offensive end, will you be actively looking to add some more frontcourt scoring off the bench to match their offensive punch or do you think they can be outmatched at other positions?
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J2
Junior Member
Washington Wizards
Posts: 955 
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Post by J2 on May 13, 2014 11:40:11 GMT -6
What triggered the decision to bring back Webb and Drexler? What are you hoping they can teach your young guns?
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kucoach7
Junior Member
Portland Trail Blazers
Posts: 268
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Post by kucoach7 on May 13, 2014 12:17:04 GMT -6
What are your expectations for Walt Williams this year. With a deep team, how far does he fall on your depth chart?
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Post by JNR on May 13, 2014 12:19:32 GMT -6
The Rockets, Grizzlies, and Mavericks all have established veterans that provide excellent one-two punches at Power Forward and Center. Do you think it's fair to expect your much younger bigs to match up with them defensively, and with NotMagic still raw on the offensive end, will you be actively looking to add some more frontcourt scoring off the bench to match their offensive punch or do you think they can be outmatched at other positions? That's a good point. I think that Webber and Johnson make a fine defensive pairing at the frontcourt. Chris has been putting work in at the defensive end during training camp, and I fully anticipate him being a stout defensive force down low. Facing big men the likes of Ewing, Grant, Daugherty, Shaq, and the rest will be a daunting task, but I am confident that they will be able to hold their own. Of course, we are always looking at ways to upgrade the team, and our frontcourt depth could stand to be upgraded. As far as outmatching others, I believe that the three man wing tandem of Drexler, Pack, and Hill will be hard for most teams to defend. One of those three can go off on any given night. It will be up to opposing defenses to decide which one they want to stop the most. With back to back #1 picks, it is obvious that most of our talent lies in our young players. They have endless potential, but their lack of experience may cause issues down the road. I believe that Drexler and Webb can provide stabilization. As far as why Drexler returned, I'll let him answer that. Drexler: I was happy to go to Boston and win a championship, and their organization is great. But after the confetti settled and I had my ring, I kept thinking about Minnesota, and how much I enjoyed playing here. How I loved the community. My kids still go to school here. I just thought it was the best fit, to come back with their new young players, and try to help them get to a title in the last few years of my career. |
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Post by JNR on May 13, 2014 12:22:44 GMT -6
What are your expectations for Walt Williams this year. With a deep team, how far does he fall on your depth chart? Walt will play vital minutes in our backup small forward position. He was underrated as a starter last year, averaging 10 points a game and giving us valuable defense and three point shooting. We think he can do the same thing off the bench, and we're excited to experiment with him, Hill, and Webber in a small ball lineup. |
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Post by IamQuailman on May 13, 2014 13:58:30 GMT -6
Essentially, you traded Clyde Drexler for Grant Hill... and then get Clyde Drexler back. Was this the plan all along? Just how big is Robert Pack's penis, and do you make sure his balls are the only the about him that isn't the color blue?
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Post by NOLa. on May 13, 2014 13:59:40 GMT -6
We here believe once you create jerseys for your players you are officially ALL IN. Are you ALL IN with your team in a tough division?  |
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Post by JNR on May 13, 2014 14:04:17 GMT -6
Essentially, you traded Clyde Drexler for Grant Hill... and then get Clyde Drexler back. Was this the plan all along? Just how big is Robert Pack's penis, and do you make sure his balls are the only the about him that isn't the color blue? JNR: I'd be a pretty smart guy if that was my plan all along. Still, I'm not going to say I didn't think about it. Obviously once Clyde went on the market, we were still interested. And it worked out very well for us. Pack grabs the microphone.Pack: I'll show you how big my dick is! JNR stops Pack from standing up.JNR: That isn't necessary. We'll just suffice it to say that Pack's improvement in training camp is one of the reasons we are confident about our chances this year. |
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Post by JNR on May 13, 2014 14:05:06 GMT -6
We here believe once you create jerseys for your players you are officially ALL IN. Are you ALL IN with your team in a tough division? JNR: I don't think that's true. We just like creating jerseys. Like I said, this division and conference are too tough for me to make any guarantees. But I do think this is the best team I have fielded in Minnesota. |
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Post by NOLa. on May 13, 2014 14:15:28 GMT -6
We here believe once you create jerseys for your players you are officially ALL IN. Are you ALL IN with your team in a tough division? JNR: I don't think that's true. We just like creating jerseys. Like I said, this division and conference are too tough for me to make any guarantees. But I do think this is the best team I have fielded in Minnesota. Okay so a follow up since that was short. How would you rank your division from best to worst? |
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Post by TrayWithAnA on May 13, 2014 14:20:09 GMT -6
What were your takeaways from training camp? Is there more pressure on you to perform now or do you still feel like you have some time to let this thing develop?
Do you see the Webber training camp as a harbinger of bad things to come?
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Post by JNR on May 13, 2014 14:56:04 GMT -6
What were your takeaways from training camp? Is there more pressure on you to perform now or do you still feel like you have some time to let this thing develop? Do you see the Webber training camp as a harbinger of bad things to come? JNR: Well, I loved the way Robert and Grant progressed. It was also nice to see Aaron get better. I think we don't have to go for it all right away, because I still think the team has a lot of room to go. That being said, Webber's training camp could have been better. I don't think it's a sign of bad things to come, but I think his skyrocket improvement last year may have hit the ceiling. I think he will continue to be a dominant force in this league for years to come. Webber takes the mic.Webber: Thank you for asking about the nerfing conspiracy. I think we know evil forces are at work here. In fact... JNR: Thank you, Chris. |
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Post by JNR on May 13, 2014 14:58:04 GMT -6
JNR: I don't think that's true. We just like creating jerseys. Like I said, this division and conference are too tough for me to make any guarantees. But I do think this is the best team I have fielded in Minnesota. Okay so a follow up since that was short. How would you rank your division from best to worst? I'd say we're somewhere near the middle. The Rockets and Mavs are among the best, in no particular order. I think we match up well with the Spurs and Nuggets. The Grizzlies and Jazz could go either way. |
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Post by Nick Malone 77 on May 13, 2014 15:00:22 GMT -6
Nick Melon; Charlotte Observer: With your #1 selections in the last two drafts, do you feel confident enough that even with as powerful as the West may be this year, that the Timberwolves should be in the playoffs this year?
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Post by JNR on May 13, 2014 15:31:35 GMT -6
Nick Melon; Charlotte Observer: With your #1 selections in the last two drafts, do you feel confident enough that even with as powerful as the West may be this year, that the Timberwolves should be in the playoffs this year? Well, I've learned from watching a lot of people here that you should never guarantee anything. It brings about bad karma. So I'm just going to say we're very happy with our team and we hope we have what it takes to compete for the playoffs. |
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Post by coltsguy510 on May 13, 2014 17:08:55 GMT -6
What do you envision this team being at in three years?
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rpf
Full Member
New Jersey Nets
IDGAF
Posts: 1,743
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Post by rpf on May 13, 2014 17:17:26 GMT -6
Reverend Percy Fuccoff here, what will Hill's role be in the offense?
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Post by JNR on May 13, 2014 17:30:09 GMT -6
What do you envision this team being at in three years? If everything works out the way it should, I anticipate being a playoff contender in three years. Hill and Webber should be playing great basketball by then. |
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Post by JNR on May 13, 2014 17:32:20 GMT -6
Reverend Percy Fuccoff here, what will Hill's role be in the offense? Hill: I'm just going to be aggressive. I think my role will be trying to get in the lane, score inside, and create opportunities for me and my teammates. I think we have a really good team here with a lot of scorers. I just have to make the most of any opportunities I get. |
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Post by Conroy on May 13, 2014 17:45:11 GMT -6
Sports Guy Bill Simmons here excuse me if I overlooked this question, but I haven't heard it asked. Can you talk a little bit about taking Hill over Kidd. Did having Webber impact this decision at all was it a little enticing to potentially have an elite PG to go along with an elite Forward how do you think Hill and Webber compliment each other?
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Post by JNR on May 13, 2014 18:33:30 GMT -6
Sports Guy Bill Simmons here excuse me if I overlooked this question, but I haven't heard it asked. Can you talk a little bit about taking Hill over Kidd. Did having Webber impact this decision at all was it a little enticing to potentially have an elite PG to go along with an elite Forward how do you think Hill and Webber compliment each other? JNR: I'm not going to spare Grant's feelings here: it was a hard decision, one that I still sometimes think about. We ultimately went with Grant over Kidd because we thought that Webber and Grant would work well together. They both have passing skills better than most at their position, which made Kidd less necessary. Also, we had faith that Robert Pack would make the jump this year, and it seems so far that our faith was rewarded. I think we made the best decision in relation to our basketball team. Will Grant be a better player long term? It's impossible to say, but we're pretty confident. |
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Soundwave
Full Member
Toronto Raptors
Winter is coming
Posts: 2,465
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Post by Soundwave on May 13, 2014 22:14:01 GMT -6
Guy Fawkes:
I have noticed a strange correlation to your luck in the draft and fewer vacation days in the front office. Will you speak about how not giving 2 shits about your team for years has actually improved it. Is this your design?
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credit loco for photoshop
